For the children I will never have: The facts of life
Some men are born boys, some are born girls. Some women are born girls, some are born boys. Some people are born neither boys nor girls. Some boys and girls grow up to be neither men nor women. When you grow up you can be a man or a woman, or neither, or someone else.
People kiss other people who they really like or love. There are different types of kissing, there are kisses you give to friends, there are kisses you give to family, there are kisses you give to kittens, there are kisses adults give to boyfriends and girlfriends.
Some men like kissing women. Some like kissing men. Some like kissing both. Some men don’t like kissing. Some women like kissing men. Some like kissing women. Some like kissing both. Some women don’t like kissing. When you grow up you can kiss men, or women, or both, or no one. When you are older you will figure out who you want to kiss.
Adults sometimes kiss just because they think it’s fun. Adults sometimes kiss because they want to have sex, but not always.
Some adults have sex so they can make babies. Some adults can’t make babies or don’t want to, and they have sex because they think it’s fun. Some adults don’t want to have sex or babies. Some want to have babies but not sex.
Sometimes adults have sex with their boyfriends or girlfriends. Sometimes adults have one boyfriend or girlfriend, sometimes both, and sometimes lots. Some adults have sex with other adults who they just think it will be fun to have sex with. Some adults like to have sex with lots of other adults. Some adults like to have sex with only one. Some adults don’t like to have sex.
Babies are made when a sperm from a man joins up with an ova from a woman, then they grow into a baby in the woman’s uterus, which is in her belly. Sometimes this happens when two adults have sex, and sometimes a doctor will join a sperm and ova from two adults who have never met, or adults who can’t make babies together by having sex, but want very much to have babies.
When you are older you will figure out whether you want to have babies or sex or both or neither. When you are older you will figure out whether you want to have sex with women or men or both or no one.
You are allowed to change your mind any time.
Sometimes adults can get sick from sex or kissing. This is why adults use condoms and dams, so they can have sex without getting sick or making babies they can’t look after or don’t want.
When you are an adult, if you want to kiss someone or have sex with them, ask them if they want to. It’s ok for you to kiss or have sex with anyone you like, but only if they say yes. If they say no, or change their mind, then stop right away. If anyone wants to kiss you or have sex with you and you don’t want to, tell them no. If you change your mind about kissing or sex with anyone, tell them to stop.
Everyone has the right to say no to kissing and sex any time. Everyone has the right to say yes to kissing and sex any time, and change their mind any time. No one has the right to make anyone kiss or have sex if they don’t want to.
As you can see, it’s really quite simple.
— Kali Black
